Just If And Seven Aesop's Fables
as retold it by Doug Moon
A bird so thirsty couldn't get his beak down inside a metal pitcher and as there was little water within, he thought what to do. One thinks of licking the condensation on the outside of the pitcher as that is where all the water went in hot airs, but instead the pitcher was actually glazed clay or porcelain with then no transmit. Instead, he the bird worked all day long delivering pebbles to the pitcher and the water thus rose to greet as in heaven it does.
Moral: Drink or quaff deeply when sent. Also, know when to die.
"Mercury's Hammer Of The Gods" (also to be retold as the murder-mystery "Pink Dot")
An old man chopping wood and trying to get out of working (he said he saw a snake and it "scares him") tossed his hatchet or ax into a pond or lake and Mercury the god of whirlwind and facial moles came to the rescue. Mercury dove into the lake and brought out a gold hatchet and asked "Is this yours?" to which the old man replied "Nope." Mercury dove back in and came up shortly thereafter with a silver hatchet and asked once again "Is this it?" to which the old man replied "No - that is not the one." Finally, Mercury dove in and came back up with the right one the very same, but he looked like Houdini after both keys dropped down his throat and with pencils flying - the prize of acclaim so very crudely fashioned and unworthy of us all with its plaintive filths. Exasperated he said to himself only "This is it [no more will I reach for you]" but in hirsute of languages and the old man kept them all. Thank God it wasn't actually an ax and therewith three (3) more of demanded dives.
Moral: Get yours - live better. Also asks me "Was it worth it?"
"A mole to keep the mail moving."
"The Old Man Medit It Death"
An old man tired and weak while chopping wood, sat and cried to himself so weary of the world he begged for death to come, but in noun plurals as name "Death". Sure enough, "Death" sprang upon him a wiry skeleton with apple scythe from a nearby bush and it said to him "The Old Man" and as if just as lowly "Here I am - ready to go?" but with bones only and barely ashaken a russling of leaves as a mite bashfully. Frustrated with his inability to communicate the offer to "The Old Man", "Death" the wind blew on and no one came and no one left. Alternate endings: "Oh, oh - I didn't really mean that "Death" and "Death" left as mercifully as it came to only return again one day that very same as always and on the alert.
Moral: It doesn't hurt to ask. See what you can get for nothing.
A bird of finest flockery was up in a tree singing to itself, so sure it wouldn't be able to complete the day's ruin, and quite then a hungry fox came along and stood underneath. "You are the finest of the flock" it said to be as humbly as it is made (may I eat of you?) in secret it staid. The bird replied "Oh, the flattery! are but undo for if I come to you, you will eat of me and no one will be such and as to be paid for this day." The fox replied "I am no cat and not to this day have eaten" but away it did pounce and no bird had its say on that weather or that day.
Moral: "You better run." Each love to be but a feeding of and fun.
"The Aunt Of The Grasshopper Both Heed"
A bunch of ants were working hard one day each delivering more than is theirs to say to a mound nearby and as a grasshopper played its stolie violins nearby and as is played. The ant said "We are preparing for a harshest winter and as such, have no song to yet play. Ours is a harvest of to be met, not a harvest celebrated with rats made you." The grasshopper played on as if hearing no steed. O! the winter of such came and the grasshopper had to admit it was so cold but out in streets and with no food, but all answers lie within he pleuried on still a hardened of fiddle no string would say and no one's song played brighter than on that very day.
Moral: Best as is prepared? Not if your bringing the sushi to a thinktank.
"The Ol' Snake In The Grass Is Another Trick Of You Be As Heard"
A father figure-type was out in the dead of winter and 'found' a snake barely alive with ices about and brought the 'poor creature' into his home to be set by the snugly-lit fireplace for a spell onward. How could the snake even as such be cold-blooded withstand such kindnesses alive if to be such and be said well? The snake came to life at once and as it be warmthened and began hissing violingly at the man and his family shorn as if harm had been delivered to broken and at harm. "How dare you!" the man queried it aloud "Is this how you repay my kindnesses to thee?" as he dispatched the vilest of creature into the winter of so lorn and be gone.
Moral: Be a friend to yourself first. Only a fiend asks if it's okay and then does it just the same and to be anyway. Be yourself sure.
"Bitch, You Are Fucking Mean"
A dog with a firm piece of habbled meat in his mouth saw his own reflection in the water as his drink bemuse and he thought to let it slip as another yet not to be so tasty was larger to be lowered nearby. The dog lost both pieces of it by mouth as the moat slipped in to say, but no one knows for sure how large the loss to be or and of to be taken.
Moral: Have a drink on me. If only to have more of the same, be shamed.
The end. These were my favorites so far...