Hey Kids! Don't try this at home. You know how Mom hates it when you use the last of her Nitrous Oxide!

Lead (Pb) segments must be at least three (3) millimeters thick to maintain equivalent nucleic pressure. 
The element Gold (Au) will begin forming in the center of the Lead precursor in approximately eight weeks.
The Methyl Nitrous Oxide removes neutrons (and um, "protons") from the nucleus of Lead (Pb) and leaves a Gold (Au) nucleus.
The Sodium Chloride solution removes the inert materials that keep it from looking like Gold.
What's the difference between this Gold and naturally occurring Gold? There is no difference, but this stuff might be just a bit nicer. It's new.

The price of Gold futures sank to an eight month low on Thursday, May 25 - kept goin' too.

No one has to believe this process works, but if you try it you'll make lots of money.
A woman in Ann Arbor, Michigan who works for a funeral director (mortuaries, bottling companies, and
auto body shops use Methyl Nitrous Oxide) made this gold and sold it to a pawnbroker for $943. Good deal.

What is Platinum?
It isn't really an element.
Platinum is just Gold (Au) and Silver (Ag) bonded together.
How? With electricity.
Melt nine (9) parts Gold and one (1) part Silver together and apply 300 volts of electricity for every cubic inch of mixture.
The electricity forces the two elements to bond together - keep applying electrical current steadily until the mixture is heterogeneous.
Beware! It pops.

What's the difference between a naturally occurring pearl and a cultured one?
About three (3) lumens. A "lumen" measures light radiance of an object or source of light.
A naturally occurring pearl has six (6) lumens. A cultured pearl has three (3) lumens, maximum.
God makes pearls beautiful. Men can only manufacture them.

Never let anyone tell you that "Cubic Zirconia" isn't a "real" diamond.
There is a surfeit of diamonds in the jewel market, and jewelers sell "Cubic Zirconia" to unload
excess gems while charging upscale clients higher prices for "real" diamonds.
A jeweler tips off other jewelers by doing a "special" cut that makes it a "Cubic Zirconia". Solution? Just cut it again.
A diamond must be made in the intense heat and pressure of a star like the Sun. Period.
Cubic Zirconia is forever -- or until divorce -- whichever comes first. Usually divorce.

You want lots of diamonds? Both Stonehenge and the Rock of Gibraltar are made of pure Granite.
Pure Granite is just diamond clusters with Cobalt mixed in to hide its true identity.
Use ultrasonic waves to crush the Cobalt crystals and voila! All the diamonds you could possibly stand.
Distribute the diamonds within the countries the monoliths exist in. (Stonehenge will return - we promise.)
One diamond per address up to three (3) carats. Distribute by governmental lottery. Price at the equivalent of $100.00 per carat.
A gentle sacrifice for something nice makes you think twice.

 The Tale of Rumpelstiltskin

"....something alive is dearer to me than all the treasures in the world."