More stupid stuff - and I comment first then God over will:

 
Here is your giggle for the day!!
In case you needed further  proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
 (Drats and That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
doug: right - stay awake while it burns wind at you by positioning on else;
god: the first statement is right - no one need miss the kids yelling or being burned by

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside.
 (the shoplifter special?)
doug: right - you can write the name and address on a card you don't need this bag to enter or win - i'd pick you out and fuck you anyway, or cherish the perversion-truth of you claiming it a win
god: the first statement is right - a bag of chips is no entry form, however, most are discarded by you and by me - we don't like people in general, we like friends
 
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
 (and that would be???....)
doug: right - has heavy deodorants in it for b.o.
god: dial is for the hair only - a shampoo in soap made; use as such 
 
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
 (but, it's just a suggestion.)
doug: right - cooks better when not frozen all the way, is better marketing with less cooking time - or - do not eat this frozen like ice pops - a dull here
god: to defrost is to ask for less cooking time - always defrost or else yuck; one (1) hour please, each
 
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
 (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
doug: right - right, is decorated may ruins the look
god: the first statement is right - a tiramisu is cake and ruined by doing what you are doing right there - eat it up now anyway it said to me twice now and without asking
asking is important god says it asks when to do this - you never ask yet (clarity later)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
 (...and you thought????...)
doug: right - oil, hard crusts hold heat like a bitch
god: the first statement is right - butter burns you and bad, cobalt enters in steam it is salt macrameing itself open yet
 
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
 (but wouldn't this save me time?)
doug: right - the steam issuing will burn you bad - recommends lanacane for this + we use rowenta to no burns ever - thanks...my mother always burned somehow
god: the heatshield is missing - you get full wattage in these from germany; they will scald you openly and hardly - we don't recommend them for this - not necessary for clothes blacks make them 
 
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery  after taking this medication."
 (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could  just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
doug: right - dulls you with medicine, you are not going to be able to ciaim it either as a defense - is an alcohol
god: firstly, no one takes enough cough medicine - drink the whole bottle before cares - is eucalyptus only drink up, makes you sleepy...stupid too 
 
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
 (...I'm taking this because???....)
doug: right - not ours here again - yours back to; hurting people gets scary for you too think twice of not doing what are you anyway?
god: the first mistake is trying this stuff - it doesn't work - you sleep during the next day on it only - oranges don't make anyone aleep anywhere - you do though
a fake for me, really
 
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
 (as opposed to what?)
doug: right - i need to know - can i use these in the rain outside while stepping around? 
god: no christmas light is for indoor use - they all work both ways but rain scares people like me - use it well when wet - it mattered

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
 (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
doug: right - implementation or substitute use kills people and hurts their feelings too for having provided for you - they wanted to share something nice and of them;
god: no one makes food processors for england who mix [face] oils in them; we recommend not trying to at all to avoid their claims of not having the proper machines by us
make your own or i'll hurt you too with boils inside you 
 
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
 (talk about a news flash)
doug: right - some people are allergic to peanuts, wandering nut types - maybe not all peanuts within their oils; we don't want you to bother us with personal we make this, love playing official-office too
god: not a good source of fibers yet - blacks use peanuts to make clothes leave bodies with cooking of oils and making powders some - 'eat' means eat and don't even try this or else explodes in your face
blacks hate people who fly around and prove it some to you
 
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
doug: right - stay awake while it burns wind at you by positioning on else; may be seen as seeds so small a pack - true, but then again not intended as raw
god: not the same - american hates people thinking differently, but uses different languages to get them down
 
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
 (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
doug: right - caring for people makes them less knowing for you; maybe they would try to be more for you if you asked them somehow being so dumb like you are too; cushion boots make it a better feel to 
god: not one but two (2) incidents of children being scared to death as adults jump off of rooftops and cut theirselves open on beer bottles below

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
 (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
doug: right - as having reacted sharply myself to a circular saw being mishandled by me to my upper leg's benefit, think about this first: the first thing you'll do with it when all goes awry 
god: not a good idea to use ever - get reciprocating saws [left then right on a wheel], take your time if new - reciprocating saws are our answer to this
circular saws are for cutting concrete only, jigsaws are for thin wood veneers needing gentle corners and abates [ends] only - reciprocating cuts all else well

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even  chuckle)...
god: not a one person copies and pastes anything this well - add it up, take care of people